Heightened Anxiety

I have said it over and over again - I want my blog to be open, honest and real.  So much of my life right now is fun, exciting, hilarious, and cute.  As much as I want that to be it, it isn't.  Nothing is that simple or perfect.

Since pregnancy, I have been dealing with some heightened anxiety.  I have always had anxiety and managed it well.  Between raging hormones and growing a child inside of me, my anxiety took it upon itself to take form whenever.  It came out in anger and hostility - characteristics that aren't normally me. 

During pregnancy, Josh and I would chalk it all up to hormones.  We would deal with it knowing that in a few short months it would be over.  However, when Emma was eight weeks, the anxiety returned.  So we said it was postpartum.  That too would go away.  We handled each fit as best as we could. 

Here we are weeks and weeks later.  Emma is almost five months old and I am now having these fits two, three sometimes four times a week.  It is embarrassing and overwhelming and unwanted, but it's my reality.  I have gone through a heck of a week to determine I need medicine to set my hormones back to normal.  So, yesterday I began an antidepressant to relieve my anxiety and bring me back to Earth everyday of the week.

I am exposing this part of my life so maybe others can relate and feel a little less crazy when they realize that this can happen and it's not just you.  Talking with my cousin yesterday made me aware that I wasn't the only one who was experiencing great amounts of anxiety and that medication wasn't a weak thing.  The medicine is to balance out the chemicals inside of me and get me back on track for me and my family.  I can't argue with that.