Four weeks already?! I am still processing his arrival! It's been a real whirlwind between the false alarms, emergency section, Christmas, and New Years. I am swimming in this sweet, sleepy fog. I love, love, love the early stages of having a baby. Josh is home and I'm on this high with him and our precious children. People are visiting almost daily and kind friends bring us meals. We're up all hours of the day and night laughing and crying - making these indescribable memories. It isn't until real life returns that I climb out of the fog and truly feel the sleep deprivation setting in.
I am still loving this new life that I am so fortunate to have, but I would be lying if I said things weren't harder now that Josh is back at work. I am STILL recovering from my section. Thankfully, I am experiencing more good days than not, but Mama has grown very weary. My fuse is shorter than normal and Emma's terrible two stage is rearing it's ugly face. She's into everything she's never been interested in before and I'm distracted. It's become an inner challenge for me. I feel less in control than normal between the exhaustion and her unpredictable behavior. It's the perfect formula for my anxiety to resurface.
Hormones are running wild and my toddler is constantly two steps ahead of me, but I'm trying not to dwell in the negative and focus on my fear. I am trying to keep in communication with my girlfriends, stay in The Word, and whisper Jesus' name throughout my day, at the very least. Unlike after my pregnancy with Emma, I am attempting to feel, be real, and accept my imperfect progress. I am in almost constant prayer and I feel God by my side.
4weeks later and things are hard, wonderful, difficult, lovely, precious and priceless.
2days before delivery
2weeks after delivery
[pic coming soon]
4weeks after delivery
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